This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
