Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sorry about my life...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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