Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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