New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
