so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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