I love black thongs
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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