I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It's just like the Real World with babies
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
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Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
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So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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