no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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