xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
my sisters under your porch take her home
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
