Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
