The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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