Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I think weed is turning my hair brown
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
