he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it was like eating out sand paper
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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