So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Life is so much better after having sex.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
