And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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