Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
