I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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