you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
