capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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