Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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