Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
