I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
