Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
