That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
