Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
