a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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