just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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