i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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