I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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