My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
