Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Found your dick twin last night
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
