I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
