Midget sex pt 2 tonight
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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