Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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