Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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