Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Randomize
