i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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