I hope mine doesn't look like that
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sorry my hands just texted you
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
