There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
