some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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