i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
