oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
