Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My life is pants optional.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
