what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
