We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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