he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
