So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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