this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
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she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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