i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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