Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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