I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
