I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
