I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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