OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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