So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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