I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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