Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
