hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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