So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
