no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
