I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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