I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
