Christians are straight up FREAKS
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize