It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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