Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
