u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
