allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize